“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James

I get asked all the time as a Life Coach, what does it take to have an utmost relationship. Let’s be honest. We have all gone through difficult times in relationships. I have some friends who got dumped at prom, many friends who went through an ugly divorce, a lot of friends who feel just plain stuck in what seems to be a horrible relationship.

We see couples all the time at the beach, the mall or the movies who seem surprisingly happy and in love, but we all know that at some point, they will, if they didn’t already, have a fight or disagreement. What makes the difference between bliss in the relationship and feeling like it just isn’t working? Attitude.

Now let’s remind ourselves that it takes two. This means both parties need to take a look at their attitude. This is where many couples find support in a counselor or mediator. Like the old saying, “relationships are like socks, you need two and they should match”, it is necessary to make sure you are on the same road.  This doesn’t mean you have to be identical in your likes and dislikes, but it does mean that you should be both willing to support each other’s goals and dreams because they also fit into yours as well.

Here is an example.  My nephew is married to a wedding planner who’s dream it is to support couples on their special day.  Now, while it is not his dream to do the same, it is however his dream to see his wife happy and fulfilled in her career.  The same can be said for her support of his work as a designer.  They are not two identical people, but rather two people who’s attitude it is to support each other on the journey.  This common ground is the basis for a long, healthy friendship.  Its about providing an environment for others to be their best and vice versa and in doing so you make way for your best.

“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” – William Arthur Ward

Living your utmost finest life while being a support for others to do the same is a difficult, but rewarding experience. Remember, it’s not just about you, we were meant to do life together. So whether you are working on better friendships, business relationships, marriage or simply how you interact with your community, remember loving you neighbor as yourself requires both loving yourself by living your life at the utmost level as well as supporting those around you in doing the same.