There is a dimension in your life that is fundamental to your daily needs, fundamental to your sense of contentment, and fundamental to your utmost life. That dimension is what connects you to the world you see and the world you cannot see. It allows you to accept the promise you have been given and to give back from the rewards you’ve achieved. It allows you to live life above and beyond what you could even ask or imagine.

As we reach higher levels of accomplishment, we realize that there are even higher levels, and that those are the ones that take us out of ourselves. The experts tell us that we can’t really become fully human…appreciate beauty, create art, feel compassion and love for others…if we are starving, sick,or without shelter. Our basic needs must be fulfilled, but once those basic needs are met, we are almost compelled to try to make ourselves better.

I believe that a similar thing happens when our basic needs for success, self-acceptance, contentment and faith in the future are also met. For those who have really savored their life, that’s when the impulse is born to reach out to the world and return the what we have been given. We can’t focus on the rest of the world until we’ve fulfilled at least some of our basic personal needs. At the same time, unless we turn our attention to the life beyond ourselves, we will never be fully human and fully alive.

About twenty years ago I used to go jogging in a park near my mother’s house. I often saw a woman walking slowly and with difficulty, usually in old clothes. Some of the neighborhood kids made fun of her, which made me want to make her feel better. So I would say hi as I jogged by, and she would sheepishly say hi back. One day I took it upon myself to ask her how she was doing, and her face lit up because someone was talking to her. I found out her name was Diane, and I asked her where she worked. She told me she had a job in a factory bagging plastic knives, forks, and spoons. When I asked her how much she made, she responded, “Twenty-nine dollars and fifty-eight cents.” I said, “Oh my, that’s a lot! Can you imagine all the things you could do with twenty-nine dollars and fifty-eight cents?”

Two weeks later, I was jogging again and saw Diane. She ran up to me saying, “Guess what?” and pulled out her paycheck. I was a little higher that the last one. She was beaming, and I beamed right back at her. Then every time she’d see me in the park, she would have her paycheck with her, and every time it was a little higher. And she would say, “Can you imagine what I can do with this?”

As the years went on, Diane would begin to look for my children in the park. “Tell your dad how much money I made!” she’d say to them. Her clothes began to look better, and I even saw an improvement in the way she walked. While Diane didn’t receive the greatest treasures (from a world’s viewpoint), she did the best with what she had. And she had given me a great gift. She taught me that living above and beyond is not based on how much you have or what title you carry, but on being grateful, sharing life with others and living life to its fullest.

Ultimately, I believe, a life lived above and beyond your circumstances will always lead you to appreciate the miracle of life in the world and to accept that there must be a Higher Power that has put it together. The variety and richness of the gifts we have been given and the intricate connections between all of us are too amazing for it be an accident.

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!”

Ephesians 3:20 MSG

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We were not a wealthy family. In fact, we were a poor family. In fact, we were po’ folk, but my parents made our lives rich. We were a happy family. I loved sports, and as long as I could play, I was fine. There’s a picture of me in my Little League uniform: skinny, big smile, big Afro with my Little League cap perched on the top of it. And there’s this big rip in my jeans. I didn’t care; my family didn’t care about things like that. It’s like we didn’t know we were poor, so it didn’t matter. My mother worked hard, and we were always close to not making it, but she always gave us Special K (which for po’ folks…name brands were a big deal), which she’d buy in bulk. You’d look in our cabinets and there’d be nothing but Special K.

My parents didn’t have much money to spend, but they had lots of love to spend on us, and we were happy. My father loved to spend time with us. He’d say, “We’re going on a family drive,” and we would all pile into the station wagon. Some of my best memories were when all seven of us were packed into our station wagon for family trips. There’s a video of all seven of us (when I was even younger) getting out of a VW Beetle…parents in front, my three sisters in the back seat and us two boys in the back window. My father loved taking family trips. Once we drove all the way from Los Angeles to Seattle, and I still don’t how five kids survived in that tiny space for such a long time without a Nintendo DS, an iPod or PS3. If it hadn’t been for Mom and Dad’s great sense of humor, I think we kids could have done some serious damage to one another. But my parents always had us laughing.

I remember especially one time we all drove to Big Bear Mountain, which is a recreational park in southern California. We began to talk about what we would like to accomplish. We began to dream; we began to think big in that small space.

Then when we drove up and there were all these people skiing. I had never seen anyone ski before, not in person. Somebody in the car said, People like us don’t ski.” That didn’t seem right to me then and it doesn’t seem right to me now. You can do anything you want, you can be anything you want. Anything is possible.

Dad loved his family and wanted each of his kids to reach our full potential. Then one day a police officer showed up at our front door. As I listened to the officer tell my Mom that Dad had been in an accident and wouldn’t be coming home, I felt that the wonderful life I had enjoyed for eleven years was over. That night I heard my Mom wailing in her bedroom. I had never heard anyone cry that way before, nor have I heard it since.

I was keenly aware that I was living a bad dream. Someone had dished up a meal for me that I didn’t want to swallow, and for months and months it was like as if I had a stomach-ache every minute. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t spit it out, couldn’t send it back, couldn’t get rid of the awful taste in my mouth that came from the news of my Dad’s death. I didn’t know what to do. My mother had to work all the time to keep us alive. She worked at Winchell’s, a donut shop, and sometimes she would be working a two shifts a day, and she would come home exhausted.

All the rest of us had to find new ways to live a life that had the biggest hole in the world. I watched my sisters and my brother find their own ways to to live, their own ways to soothe the pain or deaden it. My oldest sister, Bernalee did her best with the rest of us. My other sisters, Paige and Viola focused their attention on school or jobs. My brother, Randy tried to numb himself with alcohol, as he had watched other people do.

Two years after my father died, my sister Viola was in a car accident and fell into a coma. We had all come to her bedside and watched over her, prayed for her,but she never regained consciousness. I was old enough to hurt and young enough to find it difficult to express my grief. I wanted to scream, “Hey, I didn’t order this. I don’t want to listen to my mother cry in her room at night. I can’t stand this pain. I want my father and my sister back.” At an early age, I began trying to make sense of the senselessness around me, and I had a deep desire within me to fix everyone else’s pain…which is partly why I do what I do today. I knew there had to be a better reality than the one I was facing. I envisioned that reality, and it came true.

Many of you have been through tremendous hurts and pain. Some, because of choices you made, others because of things that were handed to you. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” There is a hope. There is a peace. You do not have to stay in the setback. You can choose to live life to the fullest.

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Your destiny is all around you. Be observant and be creative. As you work with the tools and techniques you are learning, you will be better able to take advantage of opportunities. And as you develop your confidence, more opportunities will come, and you will be able to take full advantage of them.

  • Plan for the consequences of success.
  • Beware of new comfort zones.
  • Keep readjusting your goals.
  • If something goes wrong, don’t just give up…see if you can adjust and refine.
  • Get out of your boxes.
  • Be flexible…inspect, respect, and select all the good opportunities that come your way, even when they’re unexpected.

Challenge:

Make yourself a dream board or a success scrapbook: cut out pictures and stories about people who are living the life you want to live. Keep it where you can look at it or will pass by it many times a day. If you use your computer/ipad/smartphone, make it your screen saver. Use words and pictures that remind you of the utmost life you want to live.

Start a personal record book. Every time you accomplish something…anything…that you haven’t been able to do before, write it down.

Dream bigger. Look at the list of things that you never thought you would be able to accomplish. Imagine what you will need to make those dreams come true.

Pick a teacher for the day or the week. Think about someone who has a characteristic you admire…a friend, a relative, a colleague, or someone you’ve heard or read about. Think about what you can learn from that person.

Pick someone to appreciate once a week. Drop that person a note about how much you enjoy their company or admire their work. If it’s someone you know, you’ll be amazed at the warmth it will give to your life. If it’s someone you don’t know, you may surprised at their gratitude. I find it especially rewarding to verbally appreciate those who go unnoticed (cleaning lady, drive-thru cashier, doorman, TSA agent, DMV clerk, kids everywhere, etc).

If you are going to ever see your dreams become reality…you are going to have to make time and space for those dreams.

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