Being a Father

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With Father’s Day coming up, it always gets me thinking. I wonder sometimes if I’ve been a good father. I love my kids, but I know I’ve spent a lot of time on the road helping other people. My father, I imagine, had similar thoughts…working at Bethlehem Steel all day and then getting home exhausted. He made the best of the limited time he had during the day to make sure we felt loved.

Here’s a few things I’ve learned along the way:

1. Never forget to be obvious. Don’t assume that your family knows you love them…tell them.

2. They need your time. They need to go for walks, vacations, ballgames, and even the mall. For me, making time for my kids is not always the easiest thing, but it is by far one of the most important.

3. Listen to your kid’s joys and hurts. Paying attention is sometimes the most valuable thing we can do. They don’t just need us to be physically present…they need us emotionally available.

4. Like my friend, Duane “Dog” Chapman‘s book says, “Where Mercy is Shown, Mercy is Given“. Show your kids mercy. They will mess up, but so will you and teaching them to show mercy comes from showing them mercy first.

5. And above all I’ve learned that children need our unconditional love-when they succeed and when they make mistakes; when life is easy and life is hard.

These are lessons that I don’t always get right, but I continue to learn and grow and be the father I know my kids need.

I love my kids.

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Listen to Yourself

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I’ve talked about the basics that go into creating an utmost life: purpose, passions, and priorities…the 3 P’s, which define your goals and how you want to get to them. I’ve also talked about the attitudes that will keep you on the path…imagination, focus, and courage. Now it’s time to take the first steps toward transforming your life…if you haven’t already done so. If I told you how to bake an apple pie, even if I gave you all the ingredients, you wouldn’t have much success unless I also gave you the tools…rolling pin, pie pan, pie weights, and an oven.

The first step in finding your God idea is to start looking for it. Even if you began this journey wanting to change your life, sincerely searching for the wonder that’s in you, you may have been just browsing a blog so far, flipping through a menu, waiting for someone or something to make a choice for you. It’s like when ou go out for dinner and everybody always asks everybody else what they’re having before they decide. You might be thinking, Maybe Tim will suggest what I should do next, so that I don’t have to do all that writing and thinking and stuff. You may not even be aware that you’re doing that. But, unless you’ve started to feel that urgency, that sense that there’s a new life waiting for you around the corner, then that’s what going on. When you do feel that urgency, it’s so exciting and energizing that I couldn’t stop you even if I wanted to.

Of course there’s no way I can tell you what you should be doing and you probably know that. They have to be your answers, your purpose, your passions. No one else can serve them up for you. So want are you waiting for…dig deep and go for it.

“Listen to the MUSTN’Ts, child, listen to the DON’Ts, listen to the SHOULDN’Ts, the IMPOSSIBLEs, the WON’Ts, listen to the NEVER HAVEs, then listen close to me–Anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be.”

- Shel Silverstein


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