Believing in Yourself

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There’s a huge difference between narcissism and self-confidence. Narcissism is a psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem. Self-confidence is defined as freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities.

How you handle disappointments and mistakes/failures will depend on your level of self-esteem. If you feel you are capable of assessing your own abilities and improvements, then you will be empowered to “bounce back” from your “setbacks”.

Understanding and acknowledging your unique God-given purpose in life will not only give you direction, but will give you a whole and pure self-confidence. It’s empowering. Self-confidence comes from the ability to keep trying, keep learning and keep caring despite your circumstances.

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” Malcolm S. Forbes

In the Bible, we read about a young boy named Joseph. He was the eleventh of twelfth sons born of Jacob and Rachel. When he was seventeen, he had a two dreams that would set the course for an adventurous and ultimately powerful destiny. Throughout his journey, he was sold into slavery, accused of trying to seduce his master’s wife, and left in prison. His belief in what God showed him and his self-confidence, firmly grounded in God led him to his highly coveted position of Vizier, placed in charge over “all the land of Egypt” by the Pharoah. He later helped, not only the entire land of Egypt to sustain itself throughout a famine, but was able to sustain his family and later open doors for his people.

Our dreams, our purpose, our destiny is not just for us to live a better life. It is set in place for us to make life better for those around us as well. It is interesting that when Jesus is asked what the most important commandment is, he states that we must love God and love our neighbors as ourself. Understanding that loving God, loving others and loving ourself are all extremely important and work together in unison. You can’t love God without loving yourself. You can’t love others without loving yourself. Healthy self-confidence is utterly integral to the success of not only seeing your dreams come true, but to finding fulfillment and strength throughout your spiritual journey.

CHALLENGE: Whether you take a formal Emotional Intelligence test or simply take some time to reflect on your strengths, it is important that we are honest about who we are and how we interact with our world. Write down 10 things you are amazing at. Think about when you noticed you were great at these things. Focus on what you’re good at and search for ways to use those talents to make life better for those around you.

Dress the part, walk a little faster, sit up straight, be thankful, compliment others and speak up.

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The Power of Accepting Responsibility

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Back in the 70s, comedian Flip Wilson portrayed a character named Geraldine. No matter what happened, Geraldine’s answer was always the same, “The devil made me do it!” This was hilarious, because we knew Geraldine do what Geraldine wanted to do, and she caused all her problems. In real-life setbacks, many times the devil didn’t have anything to do with our problems either!

Before my good friend Nacho passed, I had been going to his barber shop to get my hair cut since I was fourteen years old. One day I pulled up in front of his shop and thought I had put my car in park. Actually, I’d put it in reverse. I reached down to get my wallet, and felt something go Bam! I jolted back up in my seat and yelled, “Somebody hit me!” I was mad and got out of my car, looking for the culprit. There was this beat-up, old Celica behind me. Nobody was in it, so I fumed, “This is a hit and run!”

A lady who lived next door to Nacho’s came out of her house and said, “I saw it.” I said, “Well, what did he look like?” She said, “You hit it.” I laughed, “You’re teasing.” She said, “No, you hit it.”

The owner of the Celica was in the barbershop, so I took a deep breath, went into the shop, and said, “I hit your car.” I had to go to my car insurance agent later and say, “I hit the car.” It was hard to admit I was at fault, but in the end I felt like a man and not a mouse. When our setbacks are caused by our own actions, the quicker we admit responsibility and make things right, the quicker we get to our comeback.

When you do the right thing, you become a little taller, straighter, and steadier. Accepting responsibility for your own actions brings stability and consistency to your life. This is what employers are looking for in their employees. It is what a single person is looking for in a mate. And it is what the world around you is waiting to see in someone.

That was my fault. I did it. I said it. I take full responsibility. These statements are hard to utter! They grate against our pride and self-centeredness. They also open the floodgates for God to help us stay steady in and maintain momentum in a very frustrating time, whether it is in a setback or in the process of a comeback.

CHALLENGE: Think about some of the decisions you’ve made in life and claim 100% responsibility for your actions. You may not be 100% to blame, but you can take full responsibility for your response and actions. You can’t truly walk in your comeback without taking responsibility for your setback.

 

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Excuse Me While I Live My Life

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For many of us, we go through life aimlessly trying to make it. The distractions, though not necessarily wrong, are so constant, we can easily lose sight of our goals. Whether it’s trying to pay the bills, or playing catch up with the Joneses, we tend to miss the point of life.

I was talking with a neighbor the other day. He is an artist. Some years ago, he had decided to leave the corporate world, sell his house and pursue his dream. He told me he had to forget the job, forget the things that most people strive for (like new televisions, cars, homes, etc.) and go out on a limb. He told me the things around him began to distract him from living life. Now, while most of us could/should never consider quitting our jobs, his passion is inspiring.

Many of those around us have come to see success as the gathering of things. However, isn’t it possible that success is defined by something much more meaningful? Isn’t is possible that success is defined by how we live our lives. You can live in a low to middle class neighborhood and still be successful. You can ride the bus and still be successful. Success is not defined by the stuff you have, it’s defined by what you do with what you have.

“The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green…” Psalm 92:12-14

Success is defined by how you live life. Success is growing strong, flourishing, bearing fruit, and staying fresh and green, no matter what circumstances you face. Don’t let your surroundings define you. Live life to its fullest every day, on purpose.

Now say this with me, “Excuse me while I live my life!”

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It’s Still All About Love

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HomelessIn my thirty plus years of speaking and walking people through miraculous encounters with a God who cares for them, no matter who they are or where they have come from, I have realized a few things. I’ve traveled to sixty-six different countries and have had the opportunity to sit and talk with people from various classes and cultures…from billionaires to the homeless. My belief in God’s hope is not grounded merely on something I’ve read, but in the lives I see across the world every day.

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.” Saint Augustine

We all kind of want the same thing. As unique as the world’s cultures are, if you speak to English millionaires, Irish farmers, impoverished Islanders, Nigerian fishermen and Swedish university students, in their own languages, you start to see that we are all very much alike.

We all experience setbacks and failures. We all seem to have the simple desire to feel loved, experience happiness, find a sense of security, be affirmed, and hold on to a hope of something greater.

It is interesting how people pray across the world and in different circumstances they are facing. In the United States, I hear a lot of prayers concerning new employment or a new husband or even more money. In parts of Africa, I hear a lot of prayers about health and protection. In areas that were recently affected by a natural disaster, I heard a lot of prayer for food, electricity and sustainability. In Europe, I heard the prayers for vision and hope. Across the globe, we all are reaching out to God for different needs and desires…things we deem necessary. We all desire love.

“We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go.” Hebrews 6:18

As large as the world is, it becomes very small when you begin to understand that our neighbors are not just the people living next door, but the farmers in Thailand, the singers in Nashville, the homeless in Los Angeles, the Club Owner in Miami, the Chef in London and the young soccer player in South Africa. We are all neighbors. When we were persuaded to love God and Love our Neighbor, we stepped into something bigger than we may have ever realized. We stepped into a world view that connects all of us to one simple truth…we all have the ability, no matter our resources, to embrace AND distribute love.

How will you embrace and distribute love today? Will you let class or culture separate you from being persuaded to Love God and Love others?

 

The Basis for Expectation

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I was a skinny kid, but I was a good athlete. Picture that: big Afro, winning smile and some Converse high-tops. From the time I was about ten until I was about fourteen, I ruled. There were two other guys I competed with, and we were the best. But then, once we hit fourteen, they started to pull away from me. They started to excel beyond me. Suddenly I wasn’t one of the top three athletes in the school anymore. That really messed me up. I lost the thing that defined me. But what I discovered is that I was letting other people define me. I was using the abilities I had, and doing things I liked, but it turns out I only liked them if I was the best. If I wasn’t coming in first, I felt like a nobody.

It took me years to shake off these feelings that if I wasn’t first, I wasn’t anything at all. And even longer to stop looking outside myself for satisfaction, the standards of judgment, for the goals I wanted to achieve. Ultimately, I learned that the things I needed to know, the goals that I needed to achieve, were inside of me.

Everyone comes to life with a promise. You can think of it as a promise from God, as I do, or you can think of it as a promise wrapped up inside of you…a promise you’ve been given or a promise you have. The dictionary defines promise as “a statement of what you will or will not do” or “a basis of expectation.” Both of them are true about us. The promise we have is our basis for expecting our lives to be great and we must make a statement that we will make the promise come to pass.

What’s your promise? What’s your basis of expectation? Think about the two aspects of the promise…what you have been given, but also what you have already within you.

 

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